Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Seasonal Skinny: Night on the Town!

It's that time of year to pull out all the stops (and eye-catching accessories) and treat yourself to an untamable night on the town!  

Inching closer to the spring season, make a statement with a sleek SRB Tank Top paired with outrageous details of "gold glam" with a punk rock edge.  If the doorman doesn't get the message with your "Where's the After Party" SRB Tank Top, he'll know from your Christian Louboutin Gold Lady Peep Spiked Heels and bejeweled, gold skull-accented Alexander McQueen Studded Brittania Clutch that this bitch is SERIOUS.  

Add a pop of color with formfitting, royal purple skinny jeans...David Bowie, eat your heart out!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

And The Award Goes To...

Woo hoo!  That was quite a party, for which, “We’d like to thank the Academy.  It was an honor to be among such great company at the Celebrity Gift Lounge honoring the nominees and presenters of this year’s 85th Academy Awards.  We’d also like to thank all the skinny rich bitches in the world for giving us the inspiration… “ 

Actually, what if, instead of handing out Oscar bling, the award was one of our limited edition designs? “And the SRB Tee goes to…”

For her outstanding performance in the French-language drama, Amour, Emmanuelle Riva takes home “Where’s the After Party?”  After all that misery, the woman deserves a party to which to look forward, don’t ya’ think?

For her role as Hushpuppy living in the backwaters of the bayou in Beasts of the Southern Wild, Quvenzhane Wallis wins “Join My Entourage. Only one spot left!”

For her performance in Impossible, as a woman who gets torn to pieces and survives to tell the tale in the aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami after, Naomi Watts deserves to win “Genetically Fortunate.”

As the only woman in a male-dominated world in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden, we believe Jessica Chastain would definitely say, “F*ck Prenup!”

And Jennifer Lawrence for the divinely neurotic Tiffany in Silver Linings Playbook?  How about “Fresh From Rehab?”

Either way, in our book these ladies are all winners.  And now, shhh… that funny Seth McFarlane is about to come on.  Enjoy the show!

Monday, February 11, 2013

The SRB's Guide to Love

Image courtesy of
A Skinny Rich Bitch doesn't waste any time when it comes to finding love.  Just like every obstacle or challenge that falls in her path, a SRB knows what she wants and knows when to make her move!

When it comes to finding love on Valentine's Day, forget the flowers, the romantic dinners and those stupid candied hearts!  It takes a little more to get to the heart of a real SRB. 

From one SRB to another, here are a few secret tips to finding the perfect man:

WARNING!  These are not "strict" guidelines and of course should be applied with caution and on a case by case basis :)

1. First and foremost: when it comes to finding love, love yourself first...otherwise, no one is going to be having any fun...

2.  Find a man who compliments your sense of style and confidence.   To be clear, the phrase is "COMPLIMENTS your style", not "COMPETES with your style".  All you need is for your mate to be raiding your closet and hijacking your look. 

3. Find a man that supports your occasional decision to do a little cosmetic tweaking here and there (i.e. a little botox, a shave off the ol' schnoz...), however knows to NEVER SUGGEST IT!

4. Find a man that is not intimidated by a financially independent and successful bitch!

5.  Find a man that enjoys the finer things in life and never apologizes for it.  

6.  Find a man that NEVER uses the phrase "Bros before hos!" 

7.  Find a man without baggage.  However, if he has a crazy ex...that's fine, as long as she doesn't know your name...or where you live...

8.  Find a man that likes to keep things spontaneous but doesn't keep you guessing (that s#@* can make a bitch crazy). 

9. Find a man that takes care of himself and, as a result, always looks good. 

10.  Find a man that thinks your SRB "Genetically Fortunate" tank top is ADORABLE!

To all you SRB's in love: don't hesitate to add any of your own tips to our list!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Joan Rivers: The First Lady of Comedy and Queen of the Red Carpet

The Emmy's, The Globes, The Oscars...whatever the event, there is one skinny, rich bitch that always reigns supreme over the Red Carpet Award season.  In recognition of the upcoming Academy Awards, this month's SRB of the hour is the indomitable comedienne and television personality Joan Rivers.

Joan Rivers on the cover of her 1983 album "Excerpts from 'What Becomes a Semi-Legend Most?"

Whether you love her, hate her or just love to hate her, Rivers undeniably remains as a seminal pioneer for women in comedy.  Born Joan Alexandra Molinsky on June 8th, 1933 in Brooklyn, the stage name Joan Rivers was created under the advice of an agent as Rivers began to pursue her career as a performer.  Known for her brash, biting humor, Rivers' unrelenting endurance and iconic voice has led to a career spanning over five decades and still continues, surpassing the legacy of many of her male counterparts and peers.

Throughout the '50s and '60s, Rivers was esteemed by some of the most powerful figures in television from Jack Paar to Ed Sullivan to Johnny Carson, who went on to be her industry "father figure" and mentor.  After making her first appearance on The Tonight Show in 1965 (when Carson said to her on the air, "you're gonna be a star"), Rivers remained very close with Carson, eventually becoming his primary guest host on The Tonight Show into the early eighties.  To this day, she still remains as the only woman to sit behind the desk of The Tonight Show franchise. 

While her humor is known to be at the expense of other public figures and celebrities, Rivers always counters her comedic approach with her own sense of self-deprecation.  Her blunt, shameless and often shocking portrayal of the female identity in her standup routine opened many doors for female performers.  From appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show seven months pregnant to talking about the reality of sex, marriage, aging and cosmetic surgery, audiences never knew what to expect when Rivers took the stage.  She was the first woman to bring the feminine "gift of gab" to television before Oprah, Rosie or Ellen, hosting late night to daytime talk shows where she eventually coined the phrase, "Can we talk?". 

Amongst the rejection, judgement and tragedy endured, Rivers has proven to be on the the toughest motherf@#$# in the industry.  In 1986,  FOX offered Rivers The Late Show with Joan Rivers, putting her against The Tonight Show and Johnny Carson.  After she accepted, Carson was so offended by this move he never spoke to Rivers again, consequently ending their twenty-year friendship and initiating a blacklist against Rivers on NBC.  She did not appear on the network until 2009 as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice.  In 1987, right after FOX cancelled The Late Show with Joan Rivers, Edgar Rosenberg, Rivers' husband of over twenty years and the father of her only child, Melissa Rivers, committed suicide.  It was a series of events that only the toughest SRB could survive and conquer.  Rivers unflinchingly moved on with her career, releasing comedy albums, books and establishing her daytime persona with her Emmy-award winning talk show, The Joan Rivers Show.  She then went on to become the most iconic personality throughout the Hollywood Award season, becoming the E! Entertainment Network's host for the Pre-Award Red Carpet Show for the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards as well as the host for E!'s Fashion Police, taking ownership of the phrase, "Who are you wearing?"

What makes Joan Rivers a true heroine in our eyes is that the woman is fearless.  She can say anything, pushing the most taboo topics to the limit without regret or apology.  She is also unstoppable, carrying the classic show business work ethic of never falling behind if you want to stay in front.  There is no other way of saying it, but this woman WORKS HARD and never even thinks of stopping.  It's just not an option.  In a cameo of the FX series Louis, when Louis CK admits to Rivers that he quit a gig, Rivers exclaims, "What do you mean you quit?  Nobody quits.  Are you crazy?"   

We worship you, Ms. Rivers, and can't wait to see you out on the red carpet.